Probing Deep: Whitney Woves Wittle Ones

So, another week gone by. Did you miss me? I bet you did. Everybody misses the great and powerful Probe. As we've done in the past, this week we turn our focus onto our on pantheon of greater being. The Fates have determined this week we peer into the life of our kindest and most innocent Chair, the darling Whitney Garner, resident Family Events Chair.

There she is making a lovely face to go with her red top. She's on the right, just  for all y'all who don't know her. 

1.         What is your full name?

Whitney Page Garner

2.         What is some of your past and current involvement here on campus?

I work at the Craft Shop, which is also on campus! Plus a few clubs.

All the Craft Shop people are amazing! Go down there and be best friends with all of them. 

3.         What is your major and how long have you been at ISU?

I am majoring in Dietetics and This is my third year here at ISU.

4.         Where are you from and why did you decide to come to ISU?

I am from American Falls and I decided to come to ISU because it was close to  home and I wasn’t sure where I wanted to go in life.

5.         If you were a comic book hero or villain, what would your name, powers, and arch nemesis be?

Invisible Poison is my name and Invisibility and Super Speed are my games. My arch nemesis is Antitoxin.           (Give me a break it’s all I could think of).

 Hey, it works. I don't get where the "Poison" part comes from, but it works. 

6.         List 5 goals on your life’s to-do and/or bucket list.

·         Visit every state in the US

·         Make a hole in one at golf

·         Learn to play piano

·         See the 7 wonders of the World

·         Take up Photography

7.      Tell me about a scar you have and how you got it.

            I have a scar on my right arm, by my inner elbow, and I got that while I was boating. I not actually sure at what point it occurred or from what, but it left a mark.

8.      What are three things you cannot live without?

·         My Cell phone

·         My Family + My Pets

·        My Car

9.      What is your favorite color?

            Purple, but it has to be a dark. No ordinary purple will do!

10.  How would your friends best describe you?

            Nerdy, Clumsy, Always in my own little world, lots of blonde moments.

11.  If you were a Harry Potter character, which one would it be?

            Hermione! She is brilliant, ambitious, compassionate, and loyal. All things I look up too, and admire to be.

The only downside: marrying a ginger. I feel so bad for Hermione. She's doomed...

12.  If you were to be on the cover of a magazine in 10 years, what would it the magazine be and what would the article be about?

            Martha Stewart Living! The article would be about how she is getting to be so old, and she has chosen me to take over her industry, to keep people crafty!

13.  If you had to eat only one food for a year, what would it be?

            Potatoes. I’m a sucker for mashed potatoes especially, but I might need to mix it up a bit.

14.  Do you like to sing in the shower?

            Of course, who doesn’t?

We're not all special bees who can sing in a man-made downpour, okay?!?!

15.  What kind of dinosaur did you want to be when you were younger? What about now?

            When I was younger, I wanted to be raptor. They were small and nobody messed with them. Now that I’m older, I need to be something slower and more relaxed, like a long neck. They are slow, and don’t have a care in the world!

Raptors are freaking terrifying. They gave me nightmares all the time. 

16.  What is the last book you read for pleasure?

            I honestly don’t remember, it has been that long.

17.  Besides Facebook, what website do you spend the most time on?

            Definitely, Pinterest.

Another Pinner?! This office is full of them!

18.  Who is one of your role models and why?  

            My Grandparents are my role models because they have had a hard life, yet they are always so positive and happy. They’ve taught me so much and love and support me with anything I do.

19.  Do you have any hidden talents? What are they?

            Most people don’t know that I can draw. I love to draw people.

Draw me like one of your French girls!

20.  What would I find in your trash can right now?

            All the yogurt cups that are taking over my car!

Ermahgerd, every time I get into her car, there are yogurt cups EVERYWHERE! It truly is an invasion.

21.  If you could have lunch with any person for a week, famous or not famous, living or dead, real or fictional, with whom would it be?

            If I could have lunch with anyone, it would be my Uncle who died right before I was born. He sounded like a great person and I feel like we would have so much in common.

22.  If you had a theme song, what would it be?

           ‘I was here by’ Lady A

23.  Which areas of the world would you like to explore and why? 

            Well I think I answered this back in question 6, but I would love to explore all of them, well other than the ocean, and probably not Antarctica. Too scary for me!

But you could have a penguin army in a fortress of ice. Think Ice King from Adventure Time. Doesn't that sound glorious?!

24.  How would you describe yourself in three words?

            Easy going,

Hermione frowns on you counting ability... So close!

25.  Tell me a joke.

                What do you call an Alligator in a vest?

                An Investigator!

Want to know more about this lovely gal? Come to her next event, the infamous Boo-tacular. This Halloween Carnival is oriented for kids, put on by SAB and various clubs on campus. The poster is to be released soon...

You stay classy, Pocatello!

The Probies

Join Us for a Month of Ghosts, Superheroes, and Glammed-Out Transvestites

The leaves are changing, the temperature is dropping, and the rising sense of dread is coming back to us all; this can mean only one thing: October is here. Your protecting overlords here at the SAB have a plethora of ways to entertain and keep you safe this month of terror. Excited? Read on. Terrified? Read on. Indifferent? Why are you here then?!

There are plenty of non-haunted events occurring in October. We have our monthly bingo, mid-terms stress busters, and hell, even speed dating. But none of that really matters when compared to the concoction of horror that awaits those who are patient at month's end.

Am I just talking things up? Is there really anything worth noting that SAB is presenting to you lowly peasants for this All Hallow's Eve? Are you really doubting me, a goodly soul that belittles non-SAB members and hyper-sexualizes actual ones? Take a gander below and tell me what you think.

Coming to a Ballroom near you on the 23rd day, we present to you SEIPO, the Southeast Idaho Paranormal Organization! The resident ghost hunters will lead us all on a trip into Idaho State University's haunted past. Having conducted their research ahead of time, come watch the grand unveiling of this new, never-before-seen footage at 7pm and discover just where the specters on campus reside.  Not to mention, a few lucky individuals who show up to the show first will join the ghost hunters on a very special haunted tour of campus. See all the places said to be the links to world beyond; maybe you'll even encounter a visage from beyond the grave!

Two days after the dead visit campus, a whole new crowd comes to town. Starting at 8pm in Reed Gym, SAB brings you the cult classic, the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Come decked out in costume, get your prop kit at the door, and let's do the Time Warp AGAIN! Remember though, we are  not gods, and thus only have a limited number of prop kits to give; specifically speaking, we have 150 for those in costume only. It's just a jump to the left, after all.

Our final ploy in our Haunted Triumvirate is our annual Boo-tacular! Going on for 5 years now, join us  for the Halloween carnival kids look forward to every year. With various games sponsored by the plethora of clubs on campus, this is a family-friendly party, a night for kids to remember for years. The festivities start at 6pm, again in the Ballroom. You'll find us by the League of SAB Goodness, meaning some freak accident will have left each Chair with newly endowed super powers. Whether you see me as the Dark Knight of Gotham, or our benevolent director as the wondrous Wonder Woman, no child need fear the night again!

You stay classy, Pocatello!
The Probies

Probing Deep: Meet the New Girl, Brooke

Our sincerest apologies to our diligent followers who missed us last week. Your great and terrible overlords were simply swamped with the madness that was Homecoming Week. Have now fear, for we shall dive right back in with a long, hard, and deep Probe into the world of our newest Chair, Brooke Roney.

This is seriously the worst photo of her we could find. Why does she have to be so photogenic?!

1.  What is your full name? Brooke Lynn Roney

2.     What is some of your past and current involvement here on campus? I have participated in several events here on campus but SAB is the first organization that I have gotten involved in so far.
3.     What is your major and how long have you been at ISU? I am a pre-pharmacy student and this is my second year here at ISU.
4.     Where are you from and why did you decide to come to ISU? I am from a small town in Northern Idaho, Bonners Ferry. I originally decided to come to ISU because I wanted a new start and not a lot of people from my town were coming here. Another reason was because the of the pharmacy program.
5.     If you were a comic book hero or villain, what would your name, powers, and arch nemesis be? If I was a comic book hero my name would be Dr. Awesome. I would have the power to teleport so I could travel all over the world making it awesome. My arch nemesis would be Professor Lame.
She's so creative I kind of want to vomit... 
6.     List 5 goals on your life’s to-do and/or bucket list. 1) Make out with a cop. 2) Go skydiving. 3) Go to Australia. 4) Go Reef Diving. 5) Date someone my own age.
I feel like 4 of these things could be done at the same time, with enough creativity and willingness to put your life on the line. 
7.     Tell me about a scar you have and how you got it. I have a scar on the inside of my ankle that I got in the summer after 7^th grade. I burnt it on a four wheeler.
8.     What are three things you cannot live without? Three things that I could not live without would have to be guns, trucks and animals.
Erhmahgerd, she's suuuuucccccchhhhhhhh a hick... 
9.     What is your favorite color? Camo. I am a bit of a redneck.
Point proven. 
10. How would your friends best describe you? Adventurous and spirited, bubbly and blonde, redneck and hard working, and camouflage because I can fit in with any group. 
11. If you were a Harry Potter character, which one would it be? I would be Lavender Brown because she is super bubbly and flirty.
Not to mention she gets viciously mauled by a werewolf the year after getting dumped by a ginger. There's nowhere to go but down after a ginger decides to leave you. 
12. If you were to be on the cover of a magazine in 10 years, what would it the magazine be and what would the article be about? It would be Life Magazine about finding a new drug that cures a terminal illness.
13. If you had to eat only one food for a year, what would it be? Definitely steak.
Put meat in mouth and Brooke is happy. Take notes, boys. 
14. Do you like to sing in the shower? I do sing in the shower occasionally but more often I play loud music and dance in the shower.
15. What kind of dinosaur did you want to be when you were younger? What about now? When I was younger I wanted to be a T-Rex, but then I realized I didn’t want to be stuck with a big head and little arms. So now I would probably want to be a Pteranodon (flyer) like Petrie from the Land Before Time.
16. What is the last book you read for pleasure? Metro Girl by Janet Evanovich
17. Besides Facebook, what website do you spend the most time on? Google. I google everything!!
18. Who is one of your role models and why?  My daddy. Because he is one of the hardest working men I know. He is funny and laid back and is one of those guys that everybody loves. He also tells the best stories that will have you rolling on the floor laughing.
19. Do you have any hidden talents? What are they? I have a killer shot with a Glock 9mm.
My gayness is showing as I had to Google what a Glock 9mm was... 
20. What would I find in your trash can right now? Nothing because I actually just took my trash out.
21. If you could have lunch with any person for a week, famous or not famous, living or dead, real or fictional, with whom would it be? It would be my mom’s birth dad. He died before she was born. My grandma always tells me how much alike we are and I have always wished I had the chance to get to know the man who was able to sweep my grandma off her feet.
That's so touching... I'm legitimately "awwww-ing" right now. 
22. If you had a theme song, what would it be? Born to Be Wild by Steppenwolf which also happens to be my all time favorite song.
23. Which areas of the world would you like to explore and why? I would love to go to Australia to find a sexy muscular man with an Australian accent. Either that or go down south to find myself a cowboy with a think southern drawl. Or explore Ireland because that is where my heritage is from.
Hmmmm so three-way in a Irish pub? 
24. How would you describe yourself in three words? Redneck. Adventurous. and Spontaneous.
25. Tell me a joke. What did the stoplight say to the car? Don’t look I’m changing!
Your joke is almost as bad as Carli's... Do y'all just read Laffy Taffy all day?

  

      So there you have it! Brooke Roney, only hired just last week as the Special Events Chair, is definitely a girl all y'all should get to know, especially if you are a cowboy (hint hint wink wink). Have a band you really want to see here? Get in talks with the beauty and she'll do her best to get a rocking concert and more next semester. 

  

      As always, I love to let all the little peasants know of our upcoming events. We have two major ones this week, one tomorrow, the other Friday. They are our DUI Simulator and October Family Game Night. We command that y'all join us those days!

You stay classy, Pocatello!
-The Probies